


Safe Haven

by Duster6789



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:26:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27895288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duster6789/pseuds/Duster6789
Summary: When firefighter Arya Stark finds an abandoned baby in the safe haven unit of her fire station, everything changes!
Relationships: Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark
Comments: 70
Kudos: 301





	1. Chapter 1

I _ love my job. I love my job. I love my job _ , Arya repeated the thought to herself like a mantra.

Arya had always felt proud of her role as a fire fighter. It truly did feel like a calling. Arya was a small, agile, adrenaline junkie and so it was basically the job she was born to do! She was a natural.

But yet... she had fallen out of love with it.

When she started as a trainee, she imagined that her biggest problem would be the patriarchal culture and so she tried to compensate for it by trying to ‘out-macho’ the guys but none of them really cared. Hot Pie was the only problem, and only right at the start, he had tried to make himself look less afraid by implying that she was the weak link. But they all accepted her fairly quickly, when all of the trainees took on their first blaze together, because they all realised they were just as afraid as each other.

She had been naive then. Thinking patriarchy would be the biggest problem in the firefighting profession was a complete oversight.

No, the biggest problem was loss. She had seen too much of it. Loss of life, of course, but also the complete devastation in the faces of those rescued at the loss of their homes... and their memories.

The real kicker had been Lommy. He had been at training with Arya, Hot Pie and Gendry and they had felt like a team... they felt invincible... but they weren’t. Lommy made a rookie mistake and the whole squad struggled to recover from that loss. Especially Hot Pie.

Most days she would drive to work with her mind all mixed up with anxiety, emotion and questions about her future. 

Because she didn’t feel sure of anything. Nothing but her squad.

Arya pulled up in her parking spot, distracted by her thoughts, entered through the safe haven surrender door as was her routine. That door was always unlocked to provide a sheltered area for the surrender of children under safe-haven law but the area was never used for that. Arya, instead, associated the name with the shelter she would aim for when she ran from her car on days when it was raining. And it was always raining in the Riverlands of Westeros. The automatic light came on when she entered the dim room and immediately she heard crying.

The cries of a baby. Arya spun on the spot looking for the source, expecting to find a tape recorder or something like that, because that was something that the guys would do... but no... for the first time in the years that Arya had worked at Harrenhal Fire Station... there was a baby in the surrender site.

Arya was stunned. Her heart was racing. For some weird reason she was reminded of her femininity and expected some surge of maternal instinct to kick in and she would immediately know how to act but, of course, nothing kicked in. Instead, Arya approached the Moses basket and said, in a voice pitched so high that she surprised herself, “hey there baby,” as she lowered herself to a crouch beside it.

_What is it doing here? It? Am I allowed to call it an it? Isn’t that something that parents get really offended by?_ She thought to herself while trying to stroke the baby’s cheek with her finger to sooth it. The crying did stop and Arya wondered whether that maternal instinct had kicked in after all.  _ Would a man think that? It doesn’t matter _ _._   
  
  


And then the baby grabbed her finger, and Arya forgot how to breathe. It was so heartwarming, and yet so heartbreaking that somebody had left it there.

Arya let the baby of so-far-unknown-gender-and-therefore-‘it’ hold her finger and grabbed the handles of the Moses basket with her other hand, lifting it with care, and pushing through the next door to the actual station, down the hallway and into the recreation room.

That was where she found Gendry, the one person that she was hoping to find in there. His eyes lit up when he saw her, a large grin spread across his face and he opened his mouth to speak - and then the smile turned into a gape and the light in his eyes turned to shock. Arya would have normally found it hilarious if she wasn’t HOLDING A BABY!

“Arya?” Gendry managed to say, no less stunned.

“Someone left a baby in the surrender site,” Arya informed him of literally all of the information that she had uncovered so far.

“Wh- what? In the whole time- what?” Gendry stammered.

Arya placed the basket on the table and Gendry came to her side to crowd around the basket with her. The baby had taken her finger into it’s mouth at that point. Arya had the strangest feeling that Gendry might put his arm around her... as if they were the proud parents... she shook her head and the thought away.

Gendry reached into the basket and pulled out an envelope that Arya hadn’t spotted. She had been a bit preoccupied with holding a basket with a baby in it, she thought she could be forgiven for not noticing a letter.

“To whom it may concern, even though I am leaving this beautiful girl here anonymously, please know that I love her, I simply cannot care for her. All I ask is that she be named Louisa and that she have a loving home,” Gendry read out loud and Arya distinctly heard emotion in his voice as he read.

Arya lifted her eyes to look at Gendry who was looking at her in the same way that she felt. Sad, yet loving, yet panicked, yet sad. Sad twice because it was twice as sad.And then she looked away from him quickly. She had never been able to hold his gaze for long for fear of getting caught looking into those bright blue eyes of his, or generally admiring the way that he looked. He was undeniably handsome and she refused to let that be a distraction.

“Louisa,” Arya managed to say.

To her surprise, Gendry did place a hand on her back between her shoulder blades, it was too domestic for Arya to bear! “She likes you,” she heard him say.

Arya laughed softly, her focus on Louisa, “do babies have opinions on anything? They don’t know enough yet.”

“They know what makes them happy and what makes them sad... right? Like being hungry and having a dirty diaper are things that make them sad... oh man, we need food and diapers... don’t we? Or formula? I don’t know-“

Arya sensed the panic in his voice and chuckled, hoping to reassure him, “calm down, Gendry, I guess we call social services and they do all of that.”

The door to the recreation room opened and Gendry’s hand dropped away from her back like she had burned him. Arya looked at him, he looked guilty as well, then turned to see Hot Pie walking over with a smirk on his face aimed at Gendry. She turned back to the baby, no doubt Hot Pie would brag about whatever he was smirking at later. He probably got laid or something.

“Well, well, well, what do we ha- oh my goodness a baby!” Hot Pie must have gained a visual of the situation then.

“Pie, will you go to the office and call social services?” Arya asked, and soon he was running from the room.

Arya suddenly felt sad that Louisa was going to be taken away. She could get used to having her around, she had gotten fond of her extremely quickly. She caught herself grinning at Louisa and looked at Gendry, hoping he hadn’t noticed. The guys would make fun of her for doting over a baby. She might get away with it from Gendry though. He was different to the others.

Gendry was smiling at her, so no such luck at getting away with it, “what?” she asked, but she knew he was silently making fun of her. She just hoped that by asking it would embarrass him into denying it.

“I dunno, it kinda suits you,” he said, stunning her into silence. He was smiling... affectionately? Surely not.

Gendry blushed, “I better go tell Hot Pie the actual story. He ran out before we could say,” he cleared his throat and left.

———

The morning passed, lunch passed and it was late in the day before Arya got to go to the bathroom. 

She had been so mesmerised by Louisa that she hadn’t noticed the time pass. Social services had explained to Hot Pie over the phone that they would come and collect her but it could be quite late so to arrange some sort of childcare for her, like a nanny, and they would reimburse the station. It seemed unorthodox to Arya and so she just stayed with the baby herself. The rest of her squad got called out to an emergency cat-in-a-tree rescue and swore that she could sit this one out.

She changed a diaper twice and made formula every four hours... because she wasn’t sure of how old Louisa was so she just kept making it and hoped she would take whatever she needed. It seemed to work out alright.

Gendry had taken the baby so that Arya could take some time for herself and that was when she noticed her bladder screaming at her.

When she walked back into the recreation room, a stranger was holding Louisa and Arya felt a jolt in her stomach at the realisation that she was being taken away. Gendry looked a little put out as well. Hot Pie looked like Hot Pie.

The lady from social services seemed lovely enough. Her name was Willow, and she spoke with an extremely reassuring voice, but it didn’t make Arya feel much better. Arya gathered the few things that she had bought, a teething ring that doubled as a rattle, formula and diapers and walked Willow to her car with Louisa.

Once Louisa was settled in a carseat, Arya’s eyes started to sting. “Hey, er, would you mind... this might be stupid but... could you let me know what happens with her?” Arya found herself asking.

Willow smiled, “it’s not stupid at all Ms Stark. I have witnessed countless doctors and nurses and even firefighters adopting babies that had been left on their grounds. It is very easy to form an attachment. Sometimes it feels like fate.”

“I didn’t mean that I wanted to adopt her, I just care about what happens to her,” Arya tried to clarify, but she would be lying if the thought didn’t excite her a little.

Willow smiled again, a little knowingly, “she will be taken by a foster carer tonight, we will look for a parent and give them the option to reconnect and then after that she will be up for adoption. I have your station number but I can take your personal number if you would like?”

Arya gave it to her and noticed that she wrote it on Louisa’s form under ‘adoption - interested parties’. She did nothing to correct her.

And then Louisa was gone and Arya felt a pang of grief.


	2. Chapter 2

Gendry was ridiculous. The Chief was about to retire and Gendry was offered the job... but he didn’t see that as a reason for celebratory drinks.

Just making it to the end of night shifts was a reason for celebratory drinks for the rest of the squad. Sandor Clegane in particular.

Arya basically had to drag Gendry kicking and screaming to a bar and plant a drink in his hand. The other guys, of course, tagged along with no issue but had wandered away to play pool.

“It should be you, Arya, you’re the one that is the leader around here. You got us all here tonight. Maybe I could speak up and make sure you get an interview,” he told her, reminding her just how much he cared about her. He was always rooting for her and being her biggest cheerleader.

“I didn’t apply for it, Gendry. Besides, you deserve it! You work hard and you make good decisions. You’ll do brilliantly.”

“You didn’t apply? You were the one who told me that opportunities don’t come up that often... you didn’t take your own advice?”

Arya considered him for a moment. How would he take the news that she wasn’t even sure she wanted to be a firefighter anymore, nevermind be in charge of others.

“I don’t really know what I want,” she confided as far as she was willing to. At that point anyway.

“Said every woman ever,” he laughed, and braced himself, playfully, for the smack she was likely to give him.

She did, of course, although she wouldn’t have enjoyed being so predictable if he wasn’t giggling uncontrollably.

“Gendry Waters, I cannot believe you made a sexist comment.”

“You know that I didn’t mean it... and it was worth it to see you smile.” Gendry was staring at her, considering saying something more. It wasn’t fair really. She felt like he was the midday sun, she couldn’t look at him too long or her retinas would burn out (she wasn’t sure of the science of that) but Gendry could watch her like she were some relaxing sunrise or sunset.

He settled on continuing to speak, “I know you say that Hot Pie took Lommy’s death the hardest... but I can’t help but think that is a deflection, so you don’t have to admit that you found it hard at all. Like I said, you’re basically our leader, I imagine that you think you’re responsible in some way- which of course I don’t think you are... it just seems to be how your mind works.”

Arya focused hard on the back of her hand, on the shape of her nails... anything to not look at Gendry’s face which was bound to be loaded with concern. Just the thought made her want to cry. How did Gendry know the inner workings of her mind? Because she had been wondering what she could have done differently, and if it would have had a different outcome for Lommy.

Not for the first time, Arya wondered whether there was something behind her connection with Gendry... like he could be a soulmate or something. Because friends could be soulmates, nobody ever specifically said it had to be a romantic link.

“I, er... do find it hard... I’ll admit it but only to you... so keep your mouth shut, ok?” She tried to keep it light by smiling at him by the end.

He nodded, reflecting her smile.

“I will be ok though. I’m tough,” she told him.

“You are,” he agreed. She prayed the subject would change. “So, uh, have you heard any more about Weasel?” He read her mind.

Louisa had been affectionately nicknamed Weasel by Hot Pie, because the name was similar, but mainly because the baby girl had weaselled her way into Arya’s heart and everyone knew it.

Arya looked at Gendry, for longer than she normally would, and grinned sincerely. This was a topic that warmed her heart. Those little cheeks. Maybe it was that, or maybe it was the beer, or what they had just discussed, but Arya felt bravely honest with him. “They found her mother and she is going ahead with the adoption process,” Arya paused, looking at her hand again, then looking back at Gendry, “would I be crazy-“

“No,” Gendry interrupted.

“You don’t know what I was going to say,” she laughed.

“You’re thinking of adopting her and no I don’t think that’s crazy at all... maybe if we were on the run, or something, and we needed to stay quiet,” they laughed, “then it would be crazy to take on a baby but... the way you were with her, it felt like fate.”

“That’s what Willow said!” Arya exclaimed at the memory and Gendry chuckled at how animated she had become.

“I would help you with whatever you needed. I hope you know that.”

She grinned at him and fought against the rush of affection that she had towards him.

———

Arya stayed awake late that night mulling over everything in her life.

Six months ago, she wouldn’t have changed a thing. She loved her job and her friends... she might have liked to be closer to her family but she had a new family with her squad.

She decided to face everything as if she had an ultimatum attached to it. Could she live a happy life if she kept working as a firefighter? She wasn’t sure... and could she live happily without the job? Probably, yes. The answer surprised her, despite the amount of thought she had given it. She had seen the role as something that defined her identity for such a long time. Heck, she saw her work colleagues as family and she didn’t really socialise with them that much outside of work hours.

And Weasel... now that she knew her, could she just walk away? Never even try to see her again? The answer to that was her biggest shock.

Absolutely not.

———

Arya woke the next morning and smiled at the sun shining on her. 

She rolled over to check her phone.

Gendry: Good morning. Thank you for forcing me to celebrate last night. You were right, I did enjoy myself. I hate when you are right.

Arya grinned at the screen before responding: so all the time then?

Then she locked the screen and checked the time. 9am... not too bad considering how late she had stayed awake.

Her phone buzzed.

Gendry: Taking compliments gracefully I see? As always. See you at work tonight.

She smiled and rolled over to face the empty pillow next to her. She imagined Gendry’s face there, smiling cheekily at her, his hair messy from sleep.

Arya bolted into a seated position, shaken up by her musing.

So, yes she had always noticed that he was, very obviously, good looking. And he was on such a similar wavelength to her that he basically shared her thoughts... but Arya had never imagined him in her personal life before, specifically in her bed. Strictly professional with occasional after-work socialising.

But he had said that he would help with whatever she needed. With Weasel. He offered to help her raise a baby. That was decidedly not strictly professional... so he started it! It wasn’t her fault he was suddenly in her personal life thoughts...

It still felt very strange though.

Arya went through the motions of her morning routine while she psyched herself up to making the phone call she decided to make the night before.

She had had a few beers but her distinct lack of hangover was reassuring. Besides, they always say to sleep on big decisions, and she had woken up feeling even more sure.

If she never even tried to adopt Louisa, she would always regret it.

Willow had told her that if she were free on Wednesday then Louisa would be at the Centre with her foster carer. Arya knew with all of her heart that she wanted Louisa... it was just such a huge step... and Arya was worried that she might get her hopes up and then not be approved for adoption.

Arya made the snap decision to pick up her phone before her breakfast and not give herself time to overthink it. Willow answered on the second ring.

“Riverlands social services, Willow Heddle speaking,” her pleasant voice rang down the phone.

“Hi, Willow, this is Arya Stark. I was hoping to follow through with seeing Louisa today. Is that going to be possible?”

“It is possible, yes, for applicants for adoption. Have you thought any more about whether or not you want to adopt?”

“I have, and I do.” There it was, she had said it, relief and excitement rushed through her. “I was hoping to go through the application process today as well if you have the time,” Arya found herself saying, feeling like she were having an outer body experience.

“That is wonderful, Arya. I should tell you that there are two couples also seeing her today who are interested in adopting her. We base a match on a combination of a meeting, the application form and a character reference. It normally takes about a week to get all the information together and then we make a decision. We also need to vet the applicants by looking at earnings and residence, but that doesn’t have to be done today. Once the match is made then Louisa will have no further contact with anybody but her adoptive parents. You called at just the right time.”

Arya’s heart was thundering in her chest but she couldn’t keep the grin off her face.

“Now, you will be a single mother won’t you?” the sentiment felt judgmental but the tone wasn’t at all.

“That’s right.”

“Ok, so that makes things easier for arranging today. Let’s see, can you make it down here by 10:30? I will talk you through the process and everything required for the application form. Louisa will be here from 11am so that I can touch base with her and her foster carer. You can be filling in your application while I am meeting them and then you can spend some time with her before you go. That way I can squeeze you in before the other couples come.”

Arya was overwhelmed at how easily Willow formed a plan on the day when lots of prior planning had obviously been made. Something made Arya think that Willow wanted her to have this baby. Or maybe it was fate.

“I’ll be there at 10:30.”

———

The application process was thorough but fair. And she was going to need a character reference and a lawyer but that all seemed fine. They were coming to vet her home the following day, she was working nights shifts so she would be home.

It was seeing Louisa again that made her heart swell. That toothless grin and those chubby cheeks were all too much for her heart to take.

Arya held her and the teething ring, that she recognised as the one that she had bought, and could picture it all. The stress, the fulfilment. Walking down a street holding hands with a smaller version of herself when she got a little older... not genetically of course but in style. Gendry could be there too, just to help out. 

But ultimately, all Arya really could think about was giving this sweet little girl a home.

———

Arya: Hey, would you like to meet me at The Crossroads for dinner before work? Had a crazy day. Don’t wanna take the craziness into work with me.

Gendry: Sure, if the shift starts at 8 then shall I meet you there at 6:30?

———

Arya was just leaving her house when her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Arya? It’s Willow from social services.”

“Hi, I didn’t expect to hear from you again so soon.”

“Your sister, Sansa, sent us an email with your character reference and it is a glowing report. We wanted to tell you straight away that you have been selected as the match for Louisa.”

Arya clapped her hand to her mouth, “wow! That is wonderful news! May I ask- I mean, you said earlier that it would take a week to decide.”

Willow laughed with joy, “she was meant for you, Arya. The other couples have other prospects but you already have that bond with her. Personally, I think I knew when you refused a nanny that day she was surrendered and you took care of her yourself.” Arya grinned at the memory.

———

Arya arrived at the restaurant and spotted Gendry looking slightly more dressed up than she was used to. That would make it harder to look at him while she spoke to him.

He smiled at her when he spotted her approaching. He opened his mouth to speak but she spoke first.

“She’s mine!” She told him animatedly.

Gendry looked somewhere between confused and shocked. But, when the realisation hit him, he looked more proud of her than she had ever seen him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning that this chapter contains a house fire. Apologies if that triggers any traumatic experiences for readers.

Gendry had summoned Arya into a meeting and she couldn’t help but find it amusing. Technically he was her boss-in-training, but both of them knew that he always did as she said and not necessarily the other way around.

Still, she did her best to cooperate. She would have to follow his lead at some point.

Arya sat in the guest chair while Gendry was in the Chief’s seat. Apparently Chief Yoren was leaving this case completely in his hands. Arya realised that Gendry must be ready to take the reins.

It was Gendry who snickered first. Very professional. “Look, it’s always going to be weird, me being your boss so I’m just going to jump right into what I wanted to say. You booked a two week holiday for when you’re due to get Louisa?”

Arya furrowed her brow at him, of course she was going to need some time off to settle her in. “Yeah, to establish a routine... it’s been approved-“

Gendry interrupted, “do you know that the fire service offers adoption leave?”

She did not, but she hated looking like she didn’t know something when it seemed like something she should definitely know about. Apparently, however, her silence spoke volumes.

“Arya, you can take up to six months off. It was seen as discrimination to offer maternity and paternity leave but not adoption leave, it’s for the child’s benefit, so it’s fairly new. I got talking to the HR lead, her name is Gilly, she got really excited for you, said wow a lot. Anyway, I mean, you should take the leave that is available to you. You won’t want to miss a moment with Weasel.”

“Louisa,” Arya corrected him. Not because she minded the nickname but because it was the only thing he had said that was technically wrong and she wanted the upper hand back.

“Sorry, Louisa,” Gendry corrected himself and she won.

“Ok, is there a form that I should fill in?”

“Gilly sent it to me already mostly completed with your details. All you really have to do is check it and sign it,” Gendry told her.

Arya took the offered form from his hand and scanned it over. She lifted her eyes to smile at him, “I told you that you were going to be a great boss.”

———

_Only two weeks to go and then six months off_ , Arya thought to herself as they pulled up to the blazing building, and then she let go of any personal thoughts. She always found a headspace where no emotion belonged, only facts. That was the only way to think practically, clearly and quickly when she was in a fire.

Arya and her team were a tight ship. Everyone knew what to do from the second those doors opened to the fire engine. Hot Pie and Sandor were going to fight the fire once she and Gendry had entered the building with no issues. Therefore, Pie and Sandor turned on the hoses and waited in position to enter downstairs. Gendry operated the ladder.

During night fires at a residential home, it was procedure to go upstairs first to the bedrooms. If the flames were fought first then the smoke would rise and become more of an issue upstairs.

There was a dog barking in the yard and Arya made a mental note that no pets were harmed.

Gendry was behind Arya on the ladder. They climbed through the window and went to the end of the hallway, Arya took the bedroom on the left while Gendry took the one on the right.

Arya saw three children huddled together, sitting on the ground, the largest holding the smallest. There were only two beds in the room.

Gendry came into the room, gave a thumbs up to indicate the other bedroom was clear, his oxygen mask stopping him from speaking clearly. Arya didn’t wear an oxygen mask and tank because she could keep lower to the ground than others and preferred not to carry the extra weight. Instead she wore a filtered snood for protection.

Arya spoke calmly to the eldest child, a boy, “I’m going to carry the baby and keep them safe, can you pass them to me?” the boy complied, “are you ok to climb down a ladder by yourself?” The boy nodded. “Brave young man,” she patted his head. She turned to the middle child, a girl, possibly five years old, who looked petrified, “sweetheart, Gendry here is going to carry you, ok?” Gendry swooped in and took her. Arya noticed the girl had soiled herself. Arya took the baby in one arm and the little boy’s hand with her free hand.

They were at the window with the children when they heard hysterical screeching from the other bedroom.

“Hot Pie? Sandor?” Arya yelled. No response.

Gendry continued outside with the girl and climbed down the ladder with her. Then the little boy followed and then Arya and the baby.

They scanned the area, no sign of Pie or Sandor.

Gendry took off his helmet, “stay here with the children,” he instructed her. “Paramedics will be here any second.”

Then he was back on the ladder, and back in the building.

Running on adrenaline, Arya checked over the children. The eldest boy had a nasty cough, the little girl was crying hysterically so there was nothing wrong with her lungs and the baby was the same. The paramedics arrived and Arya handed over.

She was at the foot of the ladder when she heard a downstairs window break out and Hot Pie was climbing through with a wounded Sandor.

Arya raced up the ladder to find Gendry.

He was in the other bedroom. Apparently those shrieks from earlier were from a hysterical woman who refused to leave because her husband was not breathing.

Arya knew that Gendry could carry him and wondered why he hadn’t already. Gendry appeared to be applying first aid to him, although it was procedure to do that once outside. Arya took the woman by the arm and guided her to the door, saying that Gendry would be out with her husband in just a second.

Arya led the woman to the window and climbed out first, the woman was about to run back so Arya had to be forceful, “madam, if you do not come with me now, you are deliberately putting lives at risk. Do as I say.” The woman cried in response, but she descended the ladder, sobbing every step of the way.

Gendry appeared at the top of the ladder as Arya and the woman got to the bottom. The man was a dead weight over his shoulder. Gendry descended slower than usual.

Arya took her helmet and mask off fully and spoke clearly to the woman, “we got three children out, there is a dog in your yard. Is there anyone else inside?”

The woman sobbed but shook her head, making it clear that her answer was no even though she could not speak.

A paramedic took her to an ambulance.

Gendry was met by paramedics at the bottom of the ladder. His helmet was off and his oxygen mask was over the face of the man he carried.

The paramedics lay the man on a gurney, removed the oxygen mask, disconnecting Gendry from him, and wheeled him away. Shouting for Gendry to follow so he could be checked out. He was coughing and seemed lightheaded. Arya put her arm around him and guided him to an ambulance. A paramedic took him away from her.

That was where she met Hot Pie. He was pacing, he looked like he was in shock. “Sandor went in the first ambulance with the children. His helmet, it melted to his face! He’s going to be scarred.” He nodded. “What happened to Gendry?”

“Smoke inhalation,” Arya responded.

Another fire engine had arrived and were starting the process of putting out the fire.

“Did you call for backup?” Arya asked.

“I did. We had a man down. And I was about to lose my head,” Hot Pie nodded. Arya nodded.

The final ambulance departed and Arya watched the other team tend to the fire, feeling a little redundant.

And that was the first thing she let herself feel.

The next thing she knew she was flooded with emotions. Gendry... she had to get to the hospital. She wiped away the tear that threatened to fall.

“We should get back to station, debrief... and get to the hospital,” she told him.

He nodded. All he seemed to be doing was nodding.

———

“Are you a relative?” The nurse asked her.

“No, a colleague. I was at the fire with him,” Arya gave the coldest version of a response, he was more than just a colleague but she needed answers. Hot Pie was probably thinking the same way about saying the same thing down the corridor with Sandor.

“So you know how long he was without his mask and the damage that can cause. He inhaled a lot of smoke. We had to sedate him and intubate him to give his lungs a chance to heal. Some of his other organs took some strain as well,” the nurse told her factually.

Arya could feel herself tearing up.

“He had no emergency contact listed, you can stay if you like but it is a startling sight. You might be better coming back tomorrow.”

“I’ll stay.”

———

Arya did not sleep that night. They kept him sedated and intubated and checked on him regularly throughout the night.

Arya went over the night in her head over and over. If she had just gone with him, she would have been able to get the wife away sooner. Then Gendry would have been able to get the husband out sooner. But she couldn’t have left the children.

What if they had gone into the adults’ room first. The children had been relatively calm thanks to the eldest sibling... but either way it meant leaving those children in danger somewhere.

There was no solution. They had acted as they were supposed to. Except Gendry took his mask off and tried to save the husband.

Arya was so angry at him for it. But she couldn’t be while he was in his state. But he had made the decision to harm himself for the sake of someone else. It was basic training to learn that if you are not keeping yourself safe, you cannot keep others safe.

In the morning they removed the tube and said that he would wake up when the sedatives wore off.

She was still unsure whether to hug him or yell at him when he did wake up.

He coughed awake and looked around the room confused, “Arya?” His voice was hoarse.

“Rest your voice. You had a tube down your airway, that will explain some of the discomfort, also... you took your mask off in the building, you... dufus!”

“Is he ok?”

“I actually don’t know. I didn’t catch their names so I wouldn’t know how to find them. He was alive when they took him in the ambulance though.”

Gendry looked focused on his breathing. “My mouth tastes awful.”

“Yeah, smells it too,” she laughed. He tried to laugh but coughed instead. “I’ll get you some ice chips,” she said but as she moved to leave he grabbed her wrist.

“Stay with me,” Gendry wheezed.

Arya was stunned to the spot, “ok.”

She lowered herself into the seat next to the bed and let him keep hold of her wrist. When he let go she interlaced their fingers and he smiled at her softly before he drifted off to sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t check any facts haha!
> 
> Adoption leave is a real thing where I am from (but for up to a year) but I am aware that it might not be elsewhere. Let’s just say it exists in Westeros.
> 
> Gilly is pretty off-character. I just want her to be friends with Gendry because of Cassie and Chris from Skins... no other reason.
> 
> I also don’t know anything about firefighting except that smoke rises and I wanted to separate the team.
> 
> Also, I don’t really know how to treat smoke inhalation. I would guess oxygen but I assume sedation and intubation is a bit extreme... I also know that medical dramas love to intubate because the tubes look more dramatic so I went with that tactic.


	4. Chapter 4

Arya met with Sansa for yoga on the Saturday morning before her final shift. She felt like she needed to slow down her thoughts.

From the moment that she found Louisa in the safe haven space at the station, everything had moved so fast. In just a few days she would be taking six months off as adoption leave and giving a home to a baby girl. 

And Gendry... well, if the squirming in her gut were anything to go by, her feelings for him had gotten extremely complicated.

The sight of him in his hospital bed that night... the fear of losing him had overwhelmed her more than she could have ever anticipated.

The yoga helped. The sister... not so much.

“I can’t believe how much your life is changing! Soon you’re going to be a mother! I mean, you’ll never sleep again but it will be so rewarding!” She clapped her hands excitedly. “I expect to be godmother.”

“You’ll already be Aunt, you don’t need another role.”

“I wrote you a character reference, I want as many roles as possible,” Sansa smiled and Arya laughed.

“Godmother it is then!” Arya exclaimed and Sansa clapped again.

Sansa looked away, and back again, and away again, she was dancing around something. “So, er, how is your friend?”

Arya cringed, “Gendry or Sandor?”

“Both!”

“Sandor is going to make a good recovery but he will scar. He’s pretty angry at the world at the moment.”

“He is bound to be... but he had the aggressively handsome thing going for him anyway.”

Arya raised her eyebrows at her sister. Sansa must have met Sandor Clegane maybe twice at the annual fundraiser... how did she remember him? And handsome? Clearly he had made an impression on her sister that had never been mentioned before.

“He was pretty jaded by the job beforehand. This is different though,” Arya confided. “A whole new level of anger.”

“It takes a long time to adjust to life-changing incidents. He has great friends though. Don’t give up on him. He’ll be grateful when he gets to the other side,” Sansa offered a sympathetic smile.

“And Gendry?” Sansa added after a pause.

“And Gendry is desk-bound for life! The smoke inhalation incident exacerbated a heart thing that he didn’t know he had. He’s already got the Chief job lined up though. He’s lucky compared to Sandor. He’s an idiot but he’s ok.”

Sansa smirked at her, “still in denial that you’re in love with him?”

“What?!”

Sansa laughed, “honestly, when you talk about work it is Gendry this and Gendry that-“

“We’re a close knit group!”

“Oh I understand that, I just thought that you might get even closer with him when said you were leaving.”

“Only for a few months!” Arya felt her face go hot and there was absolutely no way that Sansa could have missed her blush.

“Oh good, so you’re not in denial anymore. You should work on the getting closer thing. He wouldn’t say no, I saw the way he looked at you the last time that I saw him.”

“He doesn’t look at me like anything,” Arya said, but then a series of memories rushed through her mind. When she took down Hot Pie on her first day. Whenever she won at any game of pool. Whenever he made her laugh, often at his own expense. When he watched her with Louisa. He always looked so proud of her, like she was actually bringing the dawn into the world every day. Like she was special. But friends could look at each other like that, couldn’t they? She almost definitely looked at him that way.

“He looks at you like you’re everything. Maybe you’re the idiot.”

———

Arya wanted to mingle, to circulate the party in honour of her leaving, but she found herself burdened with a table with all of her drinks on it. At least six people had bought her a drink as they were saying their goodbyes. She was grateful, so she accepted, but now she had more than she could possibly want.

“Here you are!” Hot Pie announced his approach and threw his arms around her. Gendry appeared a couple of steps behind Pie but he just waved. He wasn’t the hugging type. “What are you doing over here? We were looking for you, you’re the star of the show.”

“I’m glad you are here... ok,” Arya clapped her hands with excitement, “Pie you can have these two Jack Daniels and coke drinks, Gendry... can I talk you into Southern Comfort? Are you strictly a beer or neat scotch guy?”

“They are yours-“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, you came over here, you have to help me. Share the load. You know what? You have forfeited the right to choose now, you can have what I give you.”

Gendry laughed, “as m’lady commands.” Arya grinned at him in response.

Hot Pie rolled his eyes at the exchange. “Ok, well, since it is just us and we have a lot of drinks,” he turned very serious. “We did our training together! The two of you and Lommy are the original team for me, and I will miss you Arya Stark! Please don’t forget that you are leaving me under the charge of this grump! And you’re not even going to be around to brighten him up!”

Arya laughed and Gendry looked like he wanted to object but knew he didn’t really have a leg to stand on... which made Arya laugh harder.

Gendry raised one of his glasses, “to the original team.”

“And to absent friends,” Arya added. They all clinked glasses.

———

“Hey,” a bleary eyed Gendry said to Arya as he approached her later in the evening. She forgot to breathe for a split second.

“Hi, how are you doing?” she asked, throwing her arm around his middle, risking the hug that she normally wouldn’t even attempt. She figured that he might just be drunk enough to allow it. He did and then they settled leaning against the bar, side by side, one arm still around one another.

“I’m alright,” he said, and he smiled, but he didn’t really sound like he meant it. He sounded worn out.

She laughed and looked up at him, “are you sure about that?”

Gendry smiled genuinely then. “Yes, I am. I just... keep thinking this is goodbye. I don’t really imagine you wanting to come back to working shifts once you are the sole carer of a little girl.”

“I love my job,” she lied, “and I’m good at it.”

“You are. Arya Stark, you are something special,” he turned to face her. “What I mean is... sometimes life-changing things happen and your priorities change.”

Arya nodded. She had experienced that sort of thing before. “I know what you mean but-“

“I can’t fight a fire ever again, you know? And that’s ok... I think I have made my peace with that. I think I always knew that I wouldn’t be able to grow old doing it, so I would go to a desk eventually... and now all I keep thinking about is how I want a life outside of work. A family. I never really had a family. It took getting pretty sick to realise that is all I have ever really wanted.”

Arya smiled at him, “I can imagine you with a family,” she admitted.

“Yeah, you think I’d be a good Dad? A good husband?” He spoke ironically but could tell that the questions were real... maybe to hide some insecurity that he had never admitted before.

Arya laughed anyway, before telling him directly, “definitely.”

Gendry was gazing at her again. Adoration written all over his face. Her heart was pounding in her throat. It would be an incredible opportunity to kiss him.

He linked his fingers with hers and pulled her to face him, to be close to him. “Arya, I-“

There was a crash of breaking glass and some bar staff pushed passed them to attend to something. Arya’s eyes followed them to see what was causing the commotion. A fight. Classy. She craned her neck to see who was fighting, it was nobody from her station, so nobody who was there on her account. She breathed a sigh of relief.

But, when she looked back at Gendry, he looked crestfallen. Their linked hands had broken apart in the panic and the spell had certainly broken. After years of friendship, it had taken some fairly heavy drinking to get to a place where they were almost crossing a line, but now they were distant again. She wanted to get back to the line but she wasn't sure how. It all felt too delicate.

It would seem that he wasn't sure either.

He laughed nervously, “hey, Arya, all I mean to say is... don’t wait until you’re injured or sick to realise that Weasel is more important than proving just how good you are at your job... ok?”

All Arya could do was nod... because, when Gendry came over, that was where the conversation was probably headed. Priorities. Love Weasel more than fighting fires. She could certainly do that. But their interaction had taken a tangent.

A tangent that she wasn’t really prepared for. All she had really known, for years, was that he was her gorgeous work colleague that she happened to be the closest to during those work hours. But the feelings she had felt at his side in the hospital were so much more complicated than that. She hadn't really completely processed it. 

What would have happened if they had followed their tangent? Would they have kissed and gone home together and woken up regretting it?

Until she was sure there would no chance of regretting anything she was not going to act... maybe it was for the best they had been broken apart.

———

Several drinks later, Hot Pie had his arm slung around Arya and was leaning to speak directly into her ear like he was sharing his darkest secrets.

“Did he tell you tonight? I had money on it being tonight,” he confided.

“Who?” Arya asked, amused.

Hot Pie let out an exasperated sound. “So he didn’t! I can’t believe it. Idiot! Perfect opportunity.”

Arya felt butterflies in her tummy at the thought of Gendry meaning to express some real feelings for her, not just almost kissing her.

Arya raised her eyes and searched the room for a pair of brilliant blue ones that she could normally spot in any crowd. She found them... but they weren’t looking back at her like she imagined they would be... they were looking into the eyes of a blonde woman.

Arya gasped and hoped Hot Pie hadn’t heard her, but as she looked at him, he was watching Gendry as well. “Fucking idiot,” she heard him say as he wandered away.


	5. Chapter 5

Arya had an alarm clock but it was pretty much surplus to requirements once Louisa was living with her. 

For the first month of having her home, Arya woke every day to the happy gurgling sounds of a well rested 9 month old girl. It was the sweetest way to wake up. Arya loved her so much. Her heart would actually stop beating for a second when she saw Louisa bopping to music - she hadn’t known that babies knew instinctively to dance - she thought it was something that had to be learned.

And then the first few teeth came... and the sleep went away...

Louisa would go down at night, exhausted from her day of giggling at Arya and growing teeth, but had a habit of waking up at 4am... sometimes earlier... screeching the house down. Then Louisa would go back to sleep at 6 and Arya was left wide awake.

Arya reached a point when she just needed a catch up sleep. Her sister was geographically her closest relative, because she lived in the Vale, but she was so busy that all of their plans had to be booked far in advance.

Gendry had offered to help... but she didn’t want to call him. She hadn’t spoken to him in a month. It was the longest time without contact since they had met.

It had hurt Arya more than it should have to see him with a woman, chatting and flirting and exchanging numbers. The feeling was horrible and confusing, because they had always just been friends, but she had let herself believe... it didn’t matter really. What mattered was that she was wrong and she had to get over it before she could see him again.

So she did the next best thing.

Hot Pie arrived just as Weasel was down for her nap.

“Thank you so much for this. She shouldn’t be any bother for a couple of hours, if she wakes up just give her her pacifier and she will drift off again, she’s good like that. When she wakes up she will want to-“

“It’s ok Arya, I have babysat before. Even for one this small,” Hot Pie told her.

Arya blinked at him, “you have?”

“I have! I grew up in a foster home, I don’t have blood relatives but I have a huge family of foster-siblings. I have told you this before!”

“You always talk about going for crazy drinking nights with your family, never once have you mentioned baby family members. When you saw Louisa for the first time you ran out of the room!”

“That was because I felt like I had walked in on a family moment between you and Gendry and a baby. It wasn’t Weasel that freaked me out, it was like looking into the future-“

“Stop that,” Arya was abrupt. She was very tired and regretted her tone immediately.

Hot Pie raised his hands in defeat. “Go and have a sleep, Arya. I have this situation all under control,” he took a seat next to Weasel’s moses basket and turned the tv on by the remote control.

She was dismissed in her own home but she was so tired that she didn’t even care.

———

Arya awoke and it was still daylight. She felt incredible. She stretched and allowed herself a glorious moment all to herself before pulling herself out of her bed.

There was the incredible smell of a home cooked meal. She had been eating a lot of frozen ready-meals and takeaways since Louisa had come home.

She descended the stairs and shuffled her way around the doorway into the living room. “Henry Oscar Thomas Pie you are offi-“

She stopped in her tracks when she found Gendry sitting on the rug playing peekaboo with her daughter. The little girl was waving her arms and legs in excitement, while he just looked shocked to see Arya. In her own home.

“What is happening?” She broke the silence.

“Pie had to go see Sandor so he called me here. He made a lasagne...”

Arya could barely process it. She was still a little drowsy and she wasn’t ready to see Gendry but... Sandor... he was going through hell. It gave her a lot of perspective, “oh, ok-“

“Why did you call Pie and not me?” Gendry blurted, apparently surprising himself judging by his facial expressions. He didn’t try to backtrack though.

“Well, you’re the Chief-“

“Arya!”

“What? I was answering your question.”

“That wasn’t an answer,” his voice shaking with... something.

“You interrupted!” Arya yelled, her frustration getting the best of her.

“Arya, why are you ignoring me?!” Gendry yelled back.

Louisa started to cry and Arya rushed over to scoop her up. “Oh, baby, I’m sorry. Mummy used her outside voice inside but she didn’t mean it,” she used her soothing voice. She blew a raspberry on the baby’s cheek. It shocked and distracted her and made her laugh.

Arya heard Gendry chuckle as well. She looked at him and he was smiling at the exchange. She felt awful. “Gendry, I have been busy. I wasn’t ignoring you,” she lied.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I have never been jealous of Pie before.”

“Jealous?”

“Well yeah! That he’s a closer friend to you than me... I don’t know why, I always thought... it doesn’t matter.”

“I don’t really rank my friends, Gendry,” she laughed nervously. The truth was he was right. Her closest friends in the Riverlands were her squad, and the closest of all was Gendry. He had always just understood her more than most people she ever met. It was just taking some time to reconcile needing them to help her with her personal life. “And I did think that you would be busier than him.”

That made Gendry belly laugh. “Hot Pie, the guy with the craziest social life, would be less busy than Gendry the hermit?”

Arya giggled embarrassingly high pitched and immediately kicked herself for letting the noise out of her. Gendry laughed again at her embarrassment. 

Then Weasel started to giggle and both Arya and Gendry coo’d over her. It was like that first day in the recreation room all over again, a real glimpse at a family life that did nothing but make her feel a bit awkward!

She knew that she was definitely confused. She might want him.

She might have wanted him all along, since the first day they met, but they never acted on it, and now there was Weasel to consider. If she pursued him now, and he agreed - which he probably wouldn’t - then he would be entering a family.

If she was too afraid to enter a two-person relationship, then three... it just wasn’t going to happen.

And she could do it alone. She could do anything!

Arya lowered herself into her armchair, with Louisa gazing up at her, and sighed. Gendry followed her lead and sat down on the sofa.

“Gendry...” she paused, not sure if she wanted to go into it... but she had to. “I saw you at my leaving party swapping numbers with a girl. Of course you have a social life, you never talk about it but I’m sure that sort of thing happens all the time. Have you been in touch with her?”

Gendry looked at her with wide eyes. “That was nothing,” he told her. He sounded sincere.

“What was her name?” She had to probe. Gendry was useless with giving details.

“Jeyne. Heddle, she is Willow’s sister. We talked about Willow until that subject was exhausted after about ten seconds because I barely knew her. I mentioned Weasel but, of course, Willow’s cases are confidential so Jeyne knew nothing about it...”

“Well, nevertheless, she gave you her number! That must be for a reason. She was definitely flirting with you,” she held up her hand to silence him because he always objected to this sort of topic, Louisa grasped onto the hand and Arya pinched her cheeks, making her laugh. “I’m just saying, keep your options open. She’s a very pretty option.”

“It’s just... not what I want,” he told her, very, very vaguely.

“What isn’t what you want?”

“Pretty girls flirting with me. Flipping their hair and giving me their phone numbers. People talk about the thrill of the chase - I hate the chase.”

"So you really don't have a social life!" they laughed, and Arya placed a fussing Louisa onto the rug to play with her playmat. “Of course you hate the chase. That makes so much sense of countless nights out.”

Gendry grinned awkwardly.

“You said the other night that you wanted a family. You kinda have to do the chasing to get to the part afterwards.”

He blushed at that, "I want the real thing, of course. I just... can't imagine that it's possible to find the real thing by approaching someone in a bar after a few drinks. I dunno, it just feels like if you choose someone based on just the way they look in a dimly lit bar... I'm not explaining this well... it’s complicated...”

“Gendry, I told you about losing my parents and how my siblings dispersed afterwards... what I mean to say is that I felt like I could tell you those things because you have depth. If you’re worried about getting into a shallow relationship, that won’t happen for you, because you’re not shallow. You just need to get passed the first hurdle by actually asking Jeyne on a date, just be yourself and it’ll either work out or it won’t. If it doesn’t, it’s not your fault, it just means it wasn’t the right match.”

“When Weasel is a teenager, and wanting to start dating, make sure you tell her that. You’re going to be a great mother. But... I’m a lost cause. I won’t be able to just casually date until I sort my brain out of all of my prior stuff.”

“Well do you want to talk about it with me? I might have some insights,” she offered. This was new territory for them, and she didn't really know how she had got into the topic of dating with her crush, and advising him to ask Jeyne out, but it just seemed to naturally flow that way.

“I have thought about it a lot. I understand my baggage, I just don’t really know what to do about it. I grew up alone... it was me and my Mother until it was just me. I went from foster carer to foster carer, I got bullied in my schools... I was unwanted. It’s simple really. I can’t stop myself from feeling unwanted. Sometimes I think... maybe I have met a person that wants me around... but then it’s too easy to talk myself out of it... to believe that I’m imagining it. Does that make sense?”

Arya’s heart sunk at their earlier conversation about her calling Hot Pie for help and not him. She could never have possibly imagined that the implications would affect him so much.

“So you think the only relationships available to you are the superficial ones?" she asked. He nodded. "I can understand that... but you only get out of a relationship what you put in. If you believe that you are unwanted and you put your guard up then that is what you will get back. A guarded response. If you open up, that’s when you find love... you know?”

“I can open up,” he told her a little defensively.

“I know you can, you just did with me, but we have known each other for years. I’m not Jeyne or a potential date. We’re just friends,” Arya laughed nervously. She was deflecting and he had seen straight through that when she had done it over Lommy's death.

Gendry’s eyes flickered to her and then away just as quickly. He scoffed. He looked like he was wounded. “Right, ok. So... now you’re awake and Wease is fine, I’m gonna go,” he threw his thumb over his shoulder and indicated the direction of the door. He stood up quickly, grabbing his coat but not bothering to put it on because that would slow him down. All Arya could do was watch him. “Er, Pie made you a lasagne, it just needs reheating. Thanks for the talk, I’ll see you.”

And then he was gone.

All of the confusion about her own feelings. About allowing herself to believe that he felt something for her... and then wholeheartedly knowing that he didn’t... it went in circles... but in that moment... that moment she absolutely knew that she had hurt him.

She had hurt him and it broke her heart.

———

Arya took to visiting Sandor daily. It started just because she knew she had to get out of the house more and had the time to go for once. Besides, he was still not working. But it ended up being because... Sandor Clegane turned out to be a big softie. A dog with no bite.

He doted on Louisa and she loved him as well. She loved being thrown in the air and caught. Besides, their visits gave him a reason to clean up his house and stay sober for a couple of hours. Arya couldn't help but think that the whole thing was doing him a lot of good.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" he asked as she got settled on his sofa.

"How quaint of you to offer. Do you have biscuits as well?" she teased.

"As a matter of fact I do, and I don't appreciate your mocking me," he shouted from the kitchen.

"You're just so gruff. I imagined you to be an ale or nothing sort of man," she called back.

Sandor Clegane walked back into the room with a tray loaded with a tea set and Arya let out an audible gasp which she hoped would stifle a short laugh.

He smiled at her as though daring her to comment on the set. She let out her laugh. "I knew you would be like that so I decided to steer into it and get the tea set out. I don't just drink alcohol all the time. I'm trying to get better," he explained.

"You're still full of surprises Sandor."

Arya shuffled to the end of her seat, passed Louisa to Sandor and started to help herself to a cup of tea. When she sat back, Sandor had Louisa standing on his lap.

"You know she's changed so much since the first time you came here a couple of weeks ago. How old is she now?" he asked, genuinely interested.

"Nearly eleven months now. I was thinking of throwing her a first birthday party. Just a get together at my house, would you be interested in coming to that?"

Clegane looked at the little girl before him and pulled a sad smile. "I don't think I'm ready to be seen at a party just yet."

He had healed well but his confidence was shattered.

"That's a shame. My sister, Sansa, will be coming. She mentioned you a couple of months ago as if she knew you. I was interested to see the two of you interact."

Sandor appeared to be blushing, if that was even possible, he was definitely doing an awkward laugh. "I remember your sister from that fundraiser. I pestered her to sing a song for me and she did after the fourth time of asking. I told her she looked like a pop star. She wasn't sure what to make of me, I'm sure, but she seemed to understand that it was all in good humour by the end of the night."

"Oh yeah, Fun Sandor was at the fundraiser that year. I seem to remember you dancing to Frank Sinatra."

"Tell anyone that and I'll have to kill you," he warned jokingly.

They settled into a comfortable silence for a while after that while they both drank tea and Louisa played happily on the sofa in between them.

"So how long do you have left of adoption leave? Have you thought about what you will do afterwards?" he asked.

"I have been off for six or seven weeks already. Just over four months left. And I don't know. Gendry said that I should think about not fighting fires anymore but I wouldn't know what else to do. I have thought about it."

"Aye, that Gendry lad has spoken to me about this."

"Is that why you asked?"

"Well I asked because I knew you were thinking about it. I'm not asking on Gendry's behalf."

"Well I am thinking about it. He made a lot of sense when he was talking about priorities changing. I really want to spend every moment that I can with Louisa."

"He gave you that speech then? Poor lad. I always thought that the two of you were well suited but at least you let him down gently."

Arya's breath was knocked out of her at that. Gendry had been talking about her letting him down gently with Sandor? These two men had never seemed like the kind of men to discuss feelings of their own, nevermind gossip about hers. What version of the changing priorities speech did Sandor get? The one that got interrupted by a bar fight for her, apparently... there must have been more that he had wanted to say.

"Let him down gently?" she dared to ask, afraid of the answer.

"Well, yeah, I knew he was hopelessly in love with you from the moment that I joined your squad, after Lommy died. You never seemed interested though, but he was too afraid to ask, so he never had his actual answer. I knew you weren't stringing him along but I'm glad you finally told him. He can move on now."

Arya had to place her teacup and saucer down because her hands were shaking. "I'm sorry. What?"

Sandor turned to look at her, horror in his eyes, "hey, look, I don't mean to speak out of turn."

"No, no, please tell me. Did he tell you that he was in love with me?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"He talked about changing priorities, then he looked like he was going to kiss me and I thought it was a pick-up line - like he just wanted to hook up-"

"Oh, by the Gods, no. That boy was besotted. That first night that we went out drinking? After I joined your squad? I called him out on it, I said 'I can't be on a squad with a guy who is looking at his squad-mate like he wants to'... well, I wasn't very polite," he cleared his throat, "and he got all kinds of angry. He started telling me that you weren't that kind of girl. That you were so much more than a beautiful face, that you had real substance... and some other mushy stuff. But that it didn't matter because you're too good for him. I didn't worry about him objectifying you or anything after that. Figured the team was safe even if his heart wasn't."

Arya didn't respond to that. There wasn't really anything that she could say.

Sandor continued, "don't say that I told you that. I don't want anyone thinking that I care about people's love lives."

"Sandor, I promise you that everything that happens here is strictly confidential. Teasets, baby cuddles... the whole thing." She couldn't even acknowledge what he had just told her.

Sandor huffed a laugh out of his nose. Arya didn't stay for much longer after that.

———

Arya was fidgeting in her living room. Gendry was due to come over any minute. It had been over a week since he left in a rush but he had asked to see her. She agreed, once Louisa was asleep and as long as he brought pizza. And so she had put Louisa down at 7:30, like always, and waited for him.

She had thought about him a lot in that week. She had come to the conclusion that the nature of their relationship was going to change no matter what she did and so she had to decide what she wanted the most. She found that, whenever she came to the conclusion that it was a bad idea to be with him, she couldn't stop thinking about his bright blue eyes, or his strong build... the way that he made her feel when he looked at her.

And so ultimately she had decided that there wasn't actually much of a choice. Being with Gendry absolutely terrified her but... it felt inevitable. Like they were soulmates.

Arya had gone over a few different ways of how to express that to him but everything just felt too mushy and absolutely not the way that they would speak to each other. And so she had nothing, no idea of what to say to him... and he would be there any moment.

Hence her nervous fidgeting.

Gendry text when he arrived, not wanting to ring the doorbell and wake up Louisa. He walked in, grinning at her, blissfully unaware of her torment. He had no idea that she knew how much that he cared about her. No idea of the decisions that she had been trying to make based on that knowledge.

The pizza was kinda comforting but... she wasn't that hungry.

Gendry took the lead of the conversation, telling her all about his week. It was fairly standard information with some little anecdotes that he seemed to find funny and it all made her feel much more at ease. Until...

"And then last night I went out with Jeyne... Heddle... like you said I should."

He wouldn't even make eye contact with her as he said it, looking at his slice of pizza like he had never seen anything so interesting. When he took a bite and the room went silent, she realised that she should probably speak.

"Oh... right, you took my advice then? I didn't think you would... you're so stubborn," she laughed but nothing about that bombshell was funny to her. Her heart was pounding and she could just hear ringing in her ears. Like an actual bomb had gone off. She was in shock. She had been working herself up to telling him that she wanted to be with him and this was how the discussion had gone instead. She felt like crying but outright refused to let him see that happen.

He laughed at her comment, it felt like he was mocking her, he wasn't of course. Blissfully unaware idiot.

"Hey, Arya... I want to talk about something and I know that it'll be a bit more sentimental than what we usually discuss so, just don't laugh at me, ok?"

She laughed nervously at the very prospect of laughing. He had her attention, though she still couldn't seem to speak.

"Our friendship has always been strange to explain to anyone who isn't a firefighter. We're all bonded over what we do for a living and so... even though we don't socialise an awful lot... you're all still my best friends. And you Arya... you're actually the best friend that I have ever had. You have always had my back and you're always annoyingly right about everything..."

She laughed at that and Gendry looked relieved that she was responding well to what he was saying. It encouraged him to continue.

"I want you to know that I have your back too, and I really believe that I am right when I say that you shouldn't fight fires anymore. I spoke to HR and they said there is a fire advisor role coming up covering a district of schools. It would be perfect for when Weasel starts school in a few years because you would have the holidays with her, you could just transfer... no need to interview... I said I would discuss it with you."

It was thoughtful, really, even though it felt like he was trying to get rid of her... but something within her knew that she didn't really want to fight fires anymore. She just hadn't known what else to do... and this option... "it does sound perfect," she managed to say.

"Does that mean you'll think about it?"

"No, it means I'll do it," she found herself saying without a lot of thought, followed by a pang of sadness over not being a part of the squad anymore. "I would miss you all though."

"We all already miss you," he chuckled as he spoke. "The station feels really quiet without you."

Arya laughed at that, "I'm not that loud!" she smacked his arm playfully.

"I guess you just have a presence," he told her seriously. "And Arya? I mean it when I say you're my best friend. We'll just have to make effort to meet up and see each other, like friends normally do, keep in touch."

"In the six weeks I have been on adoption leave, I have seen you twice."

"Exactly, I expect more effort on both sides, Stark. I want us to be the kind of friends that grow old together and make fun of people in the retirement home. That ok with you?"

Arya laughed. When she thought about it, they had never really been just friends... like he said they were just really closely bonded work colleagues... the attraction between them had been a complication. If they were really soulmates (although that thought felt stupid after the night's conversation), it would happen eventually. So... friends, for now at least...

"That sounds great," she told him with a genuine smile.


	6. Chapter 6

Arya had never had a party at her house before. She had always felt it was too small for that sort of thing but the garden was quite a good size so she decided to buy a pop-up gazebo, for the inevitable rain, and just go for it. You only get one first birthday after all.

Hot Pie was the first guest to arrive with the birthday cake (he had asked to make it and there was no way she was going to say no). Then Sansa arrived and pretty much ran straight passed Arya to Louisa for cuddles, not that Arya really minded. Then some other officers from the station arrived with their families. Then Sandor Clegane, clad in a beanie hat that held his hair in such a fashion that his scar was mostly covered (if it helped his confidence then Arya was all for it) and he was greeted with applause by the other officers.

Arya made an excuse that she had to go get something from inside, she was actually just taking a moment to make sure that she didn't cry. She had far more emotions right at the surface since she got Louisa, she supposed it had a lot to do with her opening up her heart to loving her so quickly.

It was at that moment, in a moment of heightened emotions, that Gendry Waters walked into her home... with Jeyne Heddle. Arya hadn't met her at that point and she had really hoped to be lively and charming when she did... not having a quick weep in her kitchen!

"Oh hi, it's a pleasure to meet you," she said, throwing her hand out to shake her hand, but all she truly felt was startled. "Gendry talks about you all of the time," that part was true.

It had been a bit hard to listen to at first, but Arya knew that Gendry had no idea that she had developed feelings for him, there was no way that he was being deliberately hurtful. He actually just seemed to really want advice and reassurance that he was putting himself out there enough to get a good response... but not appear too needy. Arya didn't really have the answers, she was hopelessly single, but somehow she had become his guru. Which was ridiculous on many levels. All she could do was listen and repeat 'I'm sure that whatever feels right for you is the right thing to do', sometimes with different wording so it sounded like new advice.

Besides, Arya had decided that she may have dodged a bullet by not confessing her feelings. She had been feeling a lot of love in abundance since Louisa came home... maybe some had overspilled in his direction... but they were working really, really well as friends. Making plans, even just for his lunch breaks, and keeping in touch by text pretty much every night was something entirely new for them. She could even look him in the eye those days without feeling anxiety that he would think she was checking him out. And he was so much more fun outside of the work capacity, she had even caught him singing along with a Disney movie with a giggling Louisa watching him. That retirement home plan was looking promising.

"All of the time? There isn't that much to say," Jeyne laughed. She had a sweet laugh and it made Arya wrinkle her nose at her adorableness.

Gendry smiled at Jeyne bashfully and then shot a 'shut-up' look in Arya's direction which, of course, only made Arya laugh.

"All lovely things, I promise you," Arya told her, proud of herself for managing to regain some charm after their teary introduction. "Can I get you both a drink?"

"I'll just have a cola, please," Gendry requested, on his best behaviour. Arya rolled her eyes.

"Would I be able to have a cup of tea? I know that isn't really a party drink."

"Tea is pretty much all I drink," Arya told her. "How do you take it?"

"Splash of milk with no sugar please," Jeyne ordered, exactly the same way that Arya drank hers. Had Gendry found a clone of her to replace her with?

"Coming right up, I'll bring it out. Sandor is out there," Arya directed at Gendry. "He might be grateful for someone who won't make much of a fuss of him. Everyone was applauding him when I came in."

Gendry pulled a concerned face, "say no more. I'll bring the tone back down to a Sandor-Clegane-approved level of grumpiness."

"You're a good friend," Arya told him and they smiled at each other.

Jeyne followed Gendry outside, casting a quick glance at Arya as she went. Arya grinned at her and she gave a soft smile back, although her eyes didn't seem to extend the same courtesy.

\------

Sandor didn't stay at the party for long. Arya was amazed that he even came. He had said that he wouldn't but she told him the date and time just in case he changed his mind. It must have been a bit overwhelming for him but she was proud of him for taking the step.

When she returned to the garden, after seeing him out, Sansa frantically beckoned her over.

"Hey, sorry I haven't had chance to speak to you much. I know you don't know many-"

"I gave your friend Sandor my number," Sansa slapped a hand on each of her own cheeks and looked at Arya like that Scream painting. If ever there was evidence that her sister used too many emojis in her texts, that was it.

Arya couldn't help but chuckle, "how did that come about?"

"I don't know what it is about him. I misjudged him the first time that I met him at the first fire service fundraiser. He puts on this show of being cynical and not caring but he cares a lot. I picked up on that the second time that I met him. He saw that I was miserable and he stood up to Joffrey and tried to make me laugh," she gazed away wistfully. "And he is handsome, you made out like his scar was awful!" Sansa play hit Arya on the arm.

"I did not, I said he wasn't coping with it well. He feels awful about it. You might have given him some confidence today though! Giving out your phone number at your niece's birthday party! You big flirt!" the sisters fell into a fit of laughter until Gendry came over with a crying Louisa.

She hadn't seen much of her daughter that day, she had been passed around and cuddled a lot. Gendry had had hold of her for far longer than she had imagined he would, especially considering that he worried Jeyne might think he was coming on to strong, apparently he had no issues with playing happy families with her.

As soon as Louisa was in her arms, one sniff and Arya knew the problem.

"Does Auntie Sansa want to change a diaper?"

"Auntie Sansa wants as many roles in Louisa's life as she can have... but not that one!"

Arya and Gendry gave the same laugh in response.

\------

Babies thrive on routine.

Therefore Arya's life quickly became: wake up, change diaper, feed, change clothes, visit Sandor, feed, change diaper, home, play, feed, change diaper, bedtime, clean house and sleep.

It was remarkable how quickly the remaining months of adoption leave passed by in that routine. At how fast Louisa grew and changed.

Arya felt a surprising anxiety when she took Louisa for a trial day at daycare. Not sure how Louisa would feel without her, not sure what do with her day without Louisa to care for. She did it though. Louisa didn't even cry when Arya left her there but Arya did.

Then was Arya's trial day in her new job. She dropped Louisa at daycare, knowing that there would be no issues there, and drove out to where she would meet the lady training her on the new role. Arya wore a pant-suit, thinking it was an office attire kind of occasion, but she just felt horribly uncomfortable in the thing. She had basically been living in leggings for months.

The job seemed straightforward enough. For her first week she would be shadowing, working up to typing her own reports by the end of the week, and then she would be on her own... just a regional manager that she could contact with any issues... but then she had been thrown in the deep end with less training at being a mother.

The thought of straying from the very firmly established routine and having to find time to work an actual job felt somewhat overwhelming. But then she used to fight fires so... this would be a piece of cake... right?

Wrong.

Arya's new routine on a Monday to Friday was: wake up, shower (if there was time), change diaper, feed, change Louisa, change herself into something that looked professional, pack a bag for daycare and work, get upset at daycare, be late for work, run tests on fire alarm system and some health and safety checks, type up report, go to next school and do the same, be late to pick up Louisa, home, feed herself and Louisa, change diaper, bedtime, feel shell-shocked for a couple of hours and then try to sleep.

She knew that she would get used to it but it just felt all too much. There was no comradery with her colleagues... the lady who had trained her had her own workload of ten schools. All workers worked independently, nobody even considered giving her any tips. She had asked her trainer about the other staff and she said she barely sees them. Her manager was nice enough but, with a team that didn't speak to each other, the whole team directed enquiries to them and so they were very busy indeed.

\------

Gendry brought pizza again on the Wednesday of her second week when Arya was in her shell-shock phase of the evening.

"How are you finding the new job?" Gendry asked her, not for the first time, knowing exactly the right question to ask.

She turned to look at him, suddenly aware that she had been in a daze, "it's fine... a little dull... it's just going to take some getting used to."

Gendry smiled encouragingly, "it's very different to what we used to do."

Suddenly Arya realised that Gendry had gone through the same transition. "How was it for you? Coming away from fires to a desk?"

"Hard," he laughed nervously. "Fighting fires was what I was good at. It became my identity. When I started the Chief job, I kept trying to be Chief Yoren, which was stupid. It took some time to adjust but I like the job now. I made it my own and I feel a lot more like myself."

"That's how I feel. Fighting fires is who I was and now..." she paused, searching for the right words. "The daycare assistants don't use my name, they call me Louisa's Mum. And that's a little bit like how I feel. Arya was brave and strong and she has gone now. I don't really know who I am anymore. I'm living someone else's life with no name at all. The only thing that makes it worth it is loving that little girl."

Stupid routine. Arya used to thrive on adrenaline and spontaneity. Who even was she now?

Gendry smiled sweetly, "and she loves you! She always has. You'll work it out! Change the job to suit you so you have more time at home or something like that. Surely you don't have to stick to the routine that is already in place, all that matters is you complete your workload, right?"

She could barely remember that she had been texting Gendry with details of her routine, she had been a bit of a zombie for roughly two weeks. But he was right... there must be some way to shuffle things around so she didn't feel like she was an imposter, business-woman/mother, living in her skin and not living her own life. She smiled at Gendry with the small amount of hope she had found, "I will see what is possible tomorrow. Thank you."

"Anything to help," he said with a mouthful of pizza.

\------

After her second week, Arya was given a laptop to work from home rather than at the schools themselves. She developed a plan with her manager and it changed her perspective on everything.

She was now going to visit all ten schools over Monday and Tuesday, take notes and type up her reports over the remainder of the week from home. Meaning she only had to dress professionally for two days a week.

At no point did they plan it but Gendry ended up coming over every Wednesday, cooking her dinner so that she could type up a couple of extra reports and really free up more time in the rest of her week. She didn't ask him to do it, somehow he just knew that it would help her... he was the greatest friend.

"Save your work, I'm taking your laptop, it's time to unwind or you won't sleep," Gendry told her that Wednesday.

Arya scoffed, "which one of us is the parent?"

Gendry smiled at her, shut the laptop, took it away from and placed a glass of wine in her hand instead.

Arya took a deep breath, "thank you for your help tonight." She had said it every Wednesday he had been there, but it always felt necessary to tell him again.

"You look much happier with the job now," he told her.

She scoffed, "yeah, it only took, what a month to get into the swing of working again? I have made it my own, just like you said I should," she grinned. "Anyway, I can't unwind yet, I need to put Louisa to bed."

"I kinda... already did?"

"What? When?" Bedtime was a nice process. Creating a calm atmosphere and telling Louisa a story to lull her to sleep. She was aware that Gendry had done her a favour but a small part of her was sad that one of her favourite moments of the day had been taken away from her.

"Please don't get mad, I know you like it but she fell asleep by herself on her playmat so I just... moved her to her crib," he looked so bashful, clearly under the impression that he had overstepped the mark.

Arya laughed, changing her tone to put him at ease. "Ok, so you got lucky. I can forgive you for that. I'm still going to check on her. You won't have known to turn her nightlight on."

She climbed the stairs quietly and turned on the nightlight in Louisa's bedroom before stepping over to the crib to watch her little girl, pacifier in mouth, in sweet slumber. It always made Arya's heart melt to watch her sleep.

\------

There was silence, Arya took the phone away from her ear to check the screen. 'Ongoing Call: Sansa Stark'.

"San? Are you there?" she asked, just to be sure.

"I'm here... I'm just lost for words."

Arya pulled a face of confusion, not that Sansa could see that over a telephone call.

Sansa apparently found the words that she was searching for, "it's just that, you're so smart but... so stupid at the same time!"

"Excuse me?"

"I just mean... Gendry is dating someone else... but he's also having this blissfully domestic life with you... he puts Louisa to bed for you?"

"Don't say it like that," Arya spat defensively.

"I just thought you said bedtime was this special bonding time that is particularly important now that you are working and you don't see her every minute of every day!"

"Well, the first time was a fluke-"

"And the second and third?"

"He just..." the next words had to planned carefully, either she tell the truth and admit to what she knew Sansa was getting at, or she lie. "He really dotes on Louisa," she opted for the truth.

"Oh Arya... I don't think it's just her that he dotes on."

"We're friends, Sansa," she told her sister. Although, who she was really trying to convince was becoming unclear again over the recent weeks.

"I don't know what to say to that, Arya."


	7. Chapter 7

Housework became increasingly difficult to do when Louisa was around sixteen months old. She had taken a few steps but, luckily, wasn't toddling yet. Arya knew that it was any day though and so she couldn't leave her alone for longer than a couple of seconds. Sometimes she would try to take Louisa into the kitchen with her while she just washed a few dishes, thinking she could just feed her a snack, but little Lou was just too restless. Itching to get started on using those legs!

Which is why is was no surprise on the day that Louisa pulled herself up using the sofa to support her, started to take a few steps towards Arya and her open arms... and then decided to go in a different direction instead. It was like she had just realised that she could walk wherever she wanted. And she was away!

Arya's first instinct was to video call Gendry because they had just been passing her between them the night before, both of them getting excited over three steps at a time, he would love to see this... She hung up, remembering what Sansa had said, Louisa wasn't his kid... and he was dating someone else... boundaries... So she took a video instead, sent it to everyone, and posted it to social media. He would see it anyway and he would be as involved as was appropriate.

That day was tiring!

Thankfully, it was just as tiring for Louisa and she went to sleep easily that night. She must have walked the baby equivalent of a marathon that day, plus she had been picking things up and opening doors and running away from Arya to get into more mischief somewhere else while Arya picked up after her and put things out of her reach. 

At 8:30 pm, Arya was thinking of having a really early night when her phone rang and a candid photo of Gendry flashed up on her screen.

"Hi, I missed a call earlier. Is everything ok?"

"Oh, yeah, everything is absolutely fine. Lou is walking, Gen. She has been everywhere today. Spent the day putting things out of her reach to keep her safe while she laughed at me. I guess that is motherhood!"

Gendry laughed, "yeah I think her teens will be the same way. You'll be trying to keep her safe while she laughs and enjoys her newfound freedom."

Arya groaned, "why would you say that?! Today was trying enough. I don't wanna think about twelve years from now."

Gendry was still laughing at his own joke as she spoke. "I'll come over tomorrow and baby-proof the place. You bought all the stuff but we thought we had more time."

We. Why did he say we?

"I think I knew it was imminent, really, it's just finding the time to do anything. She needs attention constantly!"

"Well, you can give her all the attention that she needs and I will fit cabinets and things with baby locks... if that is what you call them... I'll come straight after breakfast. Jeyne and I are meeting Willow."

Arya was stunned at the realisation that if Gendry had breakfast plans... "are you with Jeyne right now?"

"Yeah, she's just gone to the bathroom. I thought I would check in with you."

Arya couldn't explain it, but the thought of him making plans with her, while he was at his girlfriend's place... it just felt wrong. 

It made her realise, with a painful jolt to the gut, that they meant very different things to each other. To Arya, Gendry was the first person that she wanted to tell when something huge happened in her day. He had become probably the only person, other than Louisa, that she ever saw... he meant everything to her. For him, however, she was just someone who was an afterthought. His plans with her had to be squeezed into his busy life with Jeyne and work. And he really loved that life without her.

"Arya? You've gone quiet. It makes me nervous when you go quiet."

Arya forced a laugh, and cringed at how unconvincing it was, "I'm good. Thanks for calling, sorry that I called you earlier. It was a mistake. Don't worry about coming over tomorrow, sounds like you have a busy day planned-"

"I don't-"

"I can fit the things myself. I'll do it in the morning when she is still asleep-"

"I want to-"

"I have go to to bed, Gendry, it has been an exhausting day of chasing a toddler around. Have a good night."

And she hung up before he could argue. She placed her face in her hands and cringed deeply to herself. She wasn't passive aggressive, it wasn't a way that she liked to behave, she believed firmly in being direct with people, but she knew completely that was how she had just spoken to him. It was self-preservation though.

\------

Gendry showed up in the morning anyway at about 10:00. Arya hadn't managed to wake up as early as she would have liked so she had only fitted the cutlery drawer with a lock... but at least the knives were secure so she counted it as a win. Arya let him into the house without a word and he followed her into the living room.

Arya continued playing with Louisa on the rug as if he weren't even there. He didn't pick up on her awkwardness. Louisa betrayed her though and got up to start walking around, showing off to her new audience. Gendry watched her with a huge smile on his face.

"I know you said not to come but... I got away from that breakfast ordeal and found myself just driving here out of instinct."

Arya hadn't planned on ignoring him, she just didn't really know what to say to him, and so she was grateful that the first thing he said was so intriguing. "Breakfast was an ordeal?"

To his credit, he truly did look shaken by whatever had happened. "It wasn't just Willow, their parents were there as well. Jeyne insisted that she didn't know they were going to be there but it felt like an ambush. I'm terrible with parents as it is."

"Just people, Gendry," she laughed.

"Well, yeah, exactly," he didn't even laugh, just agreed. Around that moment, Gendry got up out of his seat to herd Louisa away from furniture where she could do damage. "I'm terrible with people and thrown into a conversation where they actually asked me what my intentions are towards their daughter."

Arya winced, "Gods, Gen, you're right. That qualifies as an ordeal... so how did you answer the question?"

"I said we take it one day at a time. I got the feeling that wasn't a good answer but it ended the discussion."

No long-term commitments in mind then, she couldn't help but notice.

She tried to hide the smile that had started to spread across her face. "So instinct led you here after your ordeal?"

"Yeah! This is my safe haven. This is where I feel most at ease," Gendry told her without even looking up from watching Louisa. Louisa stopped walking and reached up to Gendry, asking in baby babble to be picked up. He did so willingly.

"More at ease here than your actual home?"

He looked at her then, only just realising the weight of what he had said. "Well... as at ease... I don't know, I suppose I wanted to see this little one walking... I don't really know what made me feel the need to be here after an ordeal... is it ok that I'm here?"

"Of course it is. I know what you mean, my safe haven is with you."

He smiled at her, rocking as he spoke as Louisa hugged him, "you never come to my place."

"No, I mean just with you. Even in a burning building."

He blinked at her. Like he couldn't remember that they used to go into burning buildings together? It hadn't been that long ago. Why did her comment seem to shock him so much?

"What?" was all she could think to ask.

"Oh... nothing... I just think that might be the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me."

"Well... we literally used to go into burning buildings together..."

"And you felt safe?" he asked, intrigued.

"I felt assured that you had my back. That's pretty much the same thing." She was teetering on going into details about just how well looked-after he made her feel, even just watching him hold her child as though she were his own was making her feel fit to burst to tell him... but she couldn't. He was with someone else and he was meeting her family. It was getting serious.

Instead she offered him a drink and scuttled from the room to gather herself.

\------

It was much later on the same day when Louisa was babbling along to an episode of Peppa Pig while Gendry sat with her and Arya dozed on the sofa. Gendry had the endearing quality of seeming to enjoy kids TV shows. Her doze was so close to falling into a nap and she existed in a strange limbo between being asleep and awake.

"Mama," she heard Louisa say and her heart soared. It didn't get old.

"Yes, very good, that's Mama," Gendry clapped quietly in the way that made Louisa join in and she knew she had done well.

"Dada," Louisa said, confidence in her voice and starting to clap herself.

Instead there was just silence for a moment. Arya could imagine Gendry's flustered expression at the mistake. She didn't stir though... she was too intrigued to hear what he might say.

"Oh little Weasel," he sighed. "You have no idea how much I wish that were true," he whispered.

\------

Arya: Hey, you ok?  
Gendry: Yeah, bit busier than usual. You? Wease?  
Arya: Yeah we're great. We just missed you on Wednesday that's all. Thought maybe you might be sick or something.  
Gendry: I'm fine. Gotta get back to work. See you.

\------

Gendry wasn't exactly ghosting Arya but his responses were short and abrupt. She didn't understand it. It had been since the day that he came around to help her fit child locks. It had been a nice day with only a couple of awkward moments. It was by no means a disaster. So what if she told him she felt safe with him? He had said it too, basically. And so what if Louisa called him Dada... that ought to have just been cute...

So why had nearly five weeks passed with next to no word from Gendry?

Five. Long. Weeks. 

Arya had never felt so alone. Ever since Louisa had come home, Arya had always been busy and when Lou was asleep, Arya would tidy and clean and maintain the house... but that motivation was gone. She supposed it was the isolation more than anything. She never saw anybody at work, the only adults that she ever spoke to called her Louisa's Mummy... she had told Gendry about this once... that she was losing her identity. But Gendry wasn't around anymore. Hot Pie had a new squad now and was always out with family. Sansa and Sandor were spending a ridiculous amount of time together. The rest of her family were dispersed all over Westeros, her brother Jon was out on deployment and the others were either too young or too busy for her to really talk to.

It was just her and Lou. Which was great when Louisa was awake... but she went to bed at 7.

Every single night, Arya was plagued with thoughts of whether anyone actually remembered that she existed, whether she was a good enough mother... was she isolating her daughter as well? What would her life had been like if she had just saved Lommy... she would probably still be a firefighter, Hot Pie would still be her friend, and Gendry would be her boss but at least she would still get to see him.

Most excruciating of all was the realisation that she loved Gendry. It wasn't just a crush on this blue eyed, modestly muscular, tall, dark and handsome man like she used to think. It wasn't just a friendship with this guy that would make fun of her, and they would laugh and make light of everything. Gendry was all of those things rolled into one person, who was by no means perfect, but was absolutely perfect for her. She was stubbornly independent and he found a way to take care of her even though she didn't ask for it. He never made her feel like she was helpless... he just wanted to help her. And in the same way, she would do anything for him.

But he was taken. And she had done nothing to fight for him when she had the chance.

Around about the time that she was about to cave and go around to Gendry's house and yell at him was when Sansa brought him up on their phone call. It was strange, hearing Sansa merely say his name made her stomach do a flip.

"So Gendry is in a bad way, huh? He didn't say much about it but I'm guessing it ended badly with Jeyne based on how lost he looks. What has he told you?"

Nothing. It crossed her mind to pretend that they had spoken so that Sansa wouldn't worry but, "he didn't even tell me they broke up. He barely talks to me. When did you see him?"

"He was at Sandor's house when I arrived for our last date. He looked glum. He was drinking a beer but Sandor wasn't drinking with him. I was proud of him for that... hey, Arya? I'm thinking of telling him that I love him. Is it too soon do you think?"

Arya could just picture Gendry... glum... she felt like she could cry. "I say if you love him, then tell him," the advice was for her sister but hearing herself say it out loud... Gendry was single... and he had loved her once, Sandor had said so, so maybe... maybe she could tell him that she loved him.

She thought about it for hours after that. She planned out what text message that she could send that would seem casual but would also get to the point... she couldn't go around to see him because of Lou's routine so a text would have to do. She decided to send the text as soon as Louisa was asleep.

She nervously approached her phone once her little girl was dozing and nearly dropped it with surprise. On her lock screen she could see:

Gendry: Hi, are you and Weasel free tomorrow? It's Saturday, supposed to be nice weather and I thought maybe we could go to the beach.

It was enough to stop her in her tracks declaring her love... maybe she could tell him at the end of their day out...

Arya: Yes, we are free. I'll pack a beach bag!

\------

The car journey to the beach was tense. Loaded with all of the things that were unsaid... where had he been for weeks? Why had he been so distant? She had been so quick to forgive him for these things and all because she was desperate to see him again. She had slept on it and woken up relieved that she hadn't told him that she loved him the night before. That morning, she felt angry at him for ignoring her, and angry at herself for being so desperate.

He was very humble... almost apologetic with everything that he said and did. He offered to take her bag from her when she was leaving her house and she snapped at him saying that she could manage. And so, on the car journey, he barely spoke, clearly afraid of her snapping again.

The tension was too much, even for her who had been trying to get him to apologise with the cold shoulder, but it wasn't working. She caved first, "where have you been for five weeks Gendry?"

He gave her a side glance before watching the road again. He looked nervous. "I'm sorry. I really like our Wednesdays... I just got really busy at work with new recruits and Jeyne and I... we broke up... my head has been all over the place. I am really sorry." And he was, that much was written all over his face.

"I thought that we had reached a place where you could tell me what was going on in your life. I could have helped," she offered kindly, changing her tone in response to his apology. Really, that was all she had wanted.

"I know, you have been great and supportive the whole time I was with Jeyne... but this problem... I had to figure it out for myself."

"I'm always here for you Gen. Pathetically so, you ignored me for weeks and I am still here for you."

Gendry laughed at that, understanding that she was allowing making fun of each other an option again, "you're the least pathetic person that I know Arya Stark. I'm the pathetic one here... and thank you for still being there for me."

Gendry looked profoundly sad by the end of his speech and Arya supposed that he still wasn't over Jeyne, or at least whatever had happened between them... maybe she had cheated... but how would it be possible to even look at another man when Gendry was your boyfriend?

\------

"Why Storm's End beach?" Arya asked as she was setting up her picnic blanket and getting out the sunblock for Louisa.

"My Mum used to bring me here. She said my Dad was from here... the town of course, but when I was a kid I genuinely believed that he lived on the beach."

Arya chuckled at the anecdote while applying sunblock to a very fidgety toddler. Louisa started to toddle off as soon as she was done so Arya asked her to stay close. She understood those words well enough and she was a good girl. Arya settled down next to Gendry on the blanket, "you have talked about your Mum before but I don't think you have said much about your Dad."

Gendry smiled, "not much to say. I don't know him. My Mum didn't like to talk about him... I think their romance was one-sided. So, yeah, I can't tell you anything about him really... just that they met here and he lived here. In hindsight, I wonder whether Mum used to bring me here hoping to run into him. Anyway, I have nice memories here at this beach and I wanted a nice day with you and Weasel."

Arya watched her daughter grabbing handfuls of sand and putting them into the castle shaped bucket, the little spade completely discarded, she would learn to use it eventually but she looked like she was having fun. It made Arya smile, "well, this little one is certainly having a nice day. I'll buy her an ice cream later and she will definitely enjoy that, despite how messy she always gets when she eats it."

Gendry laughed. "Are you not having a nice day?"

"The nicest day in weeks. Honestly, it's just nice to see you again. I could do without wearing a swimsuit to be honest but the weather is lovely. The beach was a good choice."

Gendry smiled, "every time I pick Wease up from daycare they say she has been playing in the sand pit. I wanted her to enjoy herself."

Arya had to hold her breath to stop herself from blurting out that she loved him just for that sentiment alone. He plan the day around the things that Louisa likes.

But she held her tongue. Hours passed with nothing more than idle chit chat, no admission of deep feelings, they just played and ate and laughed and Arya knew that she would remember how perfect that day was for many years to come.

She felt a swoop of sadness when she was packing up, getting ready to go home, wondering whether Gendry would disappear again and for how long next time.

The car journey home consisted of Arya trying to keep Louisa awake so that her sleeping pattern wouldn't be disturbed but it meant that she had a grumpy child by the time they got to her house. She let Gendry carry her bag into the house that time while she went upstairs to bathe Louisa. The rush into the house was so chaotic that she wasn't sure what words had passed between Arya and Gendry when they entered the house. She didn't know whether he was staying or going. It was 6:30 by the time she had bathed and put Louisa into a sleepsuit, a little bit early, but Arya decided to let Louisa sleep and so she put her to bed. She had used a lot of energy that day and she was asleep almost as soon as she lay down.

Arya descended the stairs and found Gendry sitting in her living room. He looked nervous so she smiled at him, letting him know that he was welcome to be there, even though they hadn't discussed him staying in the chaos of Louisa's blatant unhappiness.

"I heard the mobile playing it's music, so I knew you'd be down in a moment, so I made you a cup of tea," Gendry told her.

"You, sir, are amazing," she all but ran towards the offered hot drink and took a gulp as she settled down on the sofa beside him. "I'm sorry you had to witness her screeching then. She just got over-tired because I was keeping her awake-"

"Arya, I have to talk to you," he looked serious. And still nervous. 

She hadn't noticed his body language, she had gotten too comfortable with him again. "Ok?"

He didn't speak.

She laughed uncomfortably.

He opened his mouth but no words came out.

"Gendry? It's ok, you can tell me anything," she tried to prompt him.

He stood up and took a couple of steps away from her. He started to speak when his back was turned.

"Today... was a selfish thing. I wanted to have a nice memory..."

Arya's mind went into immediate panic when he paused. He was going to leave again... or worse... her mother had wanted a nice day before she broke bad news to her... "Gendry, are you sick?"

He made eye contact and immediately looked away, "no. I'm ok. I just... I'm scared that when I tell you something... you won't want to see me anymore... and you're the best friend that I have ever had..."

He didn't elaborate, he looked terrified, which terrified her...

"I have thought about this a lot," he continued, "and I have reached the point where not telling you has become a problem... so I have to... but I don't want to lose you..."

Arya's mind raced as he spoke, and the nerves coursing through her came up through her throat and she thought she might be sick.

"I love you."

It felt like someone else had said it but it was in fact Arya having an outer body experience.

She felt as stunned as he looked at her admission.

Then he laughed, with nerves, that much was clear. "You love me? Like a friend, or...?"

His laughter had broken the spell she was under and a newfound confidence overcame her. She put down her drink and looked him right in the eyes as she said, "I love you like I have missed you like crazy. I love you like you're my favourite person who I want to, not only tell everything to, but share everything with. I love you like I want to be with you."

At first he looked stunned to the spot where he stood but then suddenly he was taking steps towards her and pulling her to her feet. And then he was kissing her... almost painfully at first impact because of desperation on both sides... but then sweetly.

She left her body again and just enjoyed her first kiss with the man she had fought with herself over for such a long time. Letting herself love him was just the sweetest feeling.

He pulled away and let out a giggle. He rested his forehead against hers. "I love you... those are the words that I have been terrified to say for years and you just say it like it's easy."

"It is easy, it wasn't but it is now... but only because it's you, and only because I feel so sure."

\------

Arya woke up to a sunny morning, but the first thing she noticed was how uncomfortable she felt... half of her body was hanging off the side of her bed. As soon as she remembered the reason for her cramped position, she smiled and rolled over to face the usually empty pillow next to her. Gendry’s face there, his hair messy from sleep. For real. It wasn't her imagination anymore. He was looking at the ceiling, deep in thought, but when he felt her shift a huge cheeky smile spread across his face.

"Good morning," she said, shifting to rest her head on his chest to avoid being face to face and have him smell her morning breath. He shifted his arm to welcome her into the nook of his arm and so he could stroke the bare skin of her back. It sent shivers down her spine.

"Good morning," he responded. She couldn't see his face from her position but she could hear him smile.

"What was that furrowed brow about? What are you thinking?" she asked.

He gave a little nervous laugh, why, though, she had no idea... after the things they did the night before there ought have been no embarrassment left. "Lots of things. Three main things."

"Go on..."

"Are we a couple?"

She laughed and looked up at him, "we told each other that we love one another and then had a lot of sex... I'm all in for a relationship if you are."

"Of course I am... I just wasn't sure, I told you that I was bad at the chase. I like to know exactly what is what."

She giggled a little more, snuggled back into his chest and forced herself to stop. "Ok so that was the first thing... what's next?"

"I really hope that I don't fuck this up. I don't have my friend Arya to ask for advice anymore."

That made her smile, "well, we know each other really well... if we're not sure about anything then we should be able to talk to each other... I hear communication is important."

"Mmm... ok, I can do that."

"Good," she nodded. "Now what is the third thing?"

"I really need another shower but every time I think about getting up, I think about the shower that we had last night to wash the sand off..."

That was all he needed to say to make her blush at the memory. It was a pretty memorable first experience for them... she cleared her throat, "Lou will be awake soon... I don't think there's time-"

"MAMA!" came the voice of a psychic child. Arya closed her eyes for a moment of frustration. She took a deep breath and looked up at him again. He smiled down at her. "Are you ready?" she asked.

"I'm ready."


End file.
